Best friends #MFRWauthor

I’m lucky enough to have three best friends: my mom, my husband, and my actual BFF, a girl I met the first few days of college. Mom and Jack are my best friends for various reasons, and I’ve talked about both of them before in these blog posts. Now I want to tell you about my friend Caddy.

Fredericksburg, VirginiaTo set the stage, I attended Mary Washington College of the University of Virginia (now University of Mary Washington), in Fredericksburg, Virginia. At that time, sooooo many years ago, the University of Virginia was all male. The exception were those women who had majors that had to finish in Charlottesville, like nursing majors. If you were a woman and wanted to attend UVA, you went to the girls’ branch, Mary Washington. All female, when I attended, we were just a couple of years way from having to wear a skirt or dress when leaving the dorm and being forbidden from getting into a car with a male without a chaperone.

Yes, hard to believe, but back then, when a date—or even parents—arrived to pick you up, they were stopped in the dorm lobby and an announcement was made to the hall where the girl resided. The announcer said either that the girl had a “visitor” (parents or a non-male) or a “caller” (a date!). When we went off campus with either type, we had to put a note in a box by the front desk saying who with, where, a phone number where we could be reached (no cell phones back then!), and the approximate time we would be back. The dorm doors were locked at midnight, and the box was then opened by the dorm “mother” so she could see if anyone was still out. Believe me, you tried your level best not to be locked out!

It was a very different age, and you know what? We didn’t mind it. In fact, there was a feeling of safety to it all that girls don’t have in schools now. That was the environment Caddy and I met. We didn’t have cars, so we walked downtown and we ate almost every meal on campus. It fostered friendships.

Long story long, we met in the first week at school. She lived one door downBest friends on the hall. Her roommate had immediately christened her Caddy, based on her initials, and that’s what we all called her. She was tall and kind of willowy where I was stubby and not willowy at all. She had naturally curly auburn hair (that took forever to dry) and a fair Irish complexion. We hit it off right away, partially, I’m sure, because she didn’t go home very often and neither did I. She had (still has) a wickedly sharp sense of humor, an amazing intellect, and one of the kindest hearts I’ve ever known. She’s very loyal to her friends but she’s not a pushover. She loves her family fiercely, and she’s a damn hard worker.

So, what do I think is the best trait for being a BFF? Hmmm. That’s hard. Maybe loyalty. It’s that loyalty that allows the closeness to know her sharp humor and the hard work and the kindness that’s tempered common sense. All in all, Caddy is a remarkable woman and an even more remarkable friend, and I’m grateful that she’s been part of my life.

Who is your best friend and why?

Read the next blog in the blog hop by going here.

Dee
Burning Bridges by Anne Krist: Old letters put the lie to Sara’s life. Now, mending past mistakes while crossing burning bridges will be the hardest thing she’s ever done.

One Woman Only
Only a Good Man Will Do
Naval Maneuvers

How many disasters can one wedding have? #MFRWauthor

I don’t mean to imply that my whole wedding was a disaster after disaster, but it was a little weird and strange things seemed to crop up. But what did I expect? We’d been engaged nine days—yes, nine days from when I said yes to a strange proposal to walking down the aisle.

That said, I was not one of those girls who had imagined her wedding from when she was tiny. Except I did want a Cinderella dress that reached from I was not tall enough to be Cinderellapew to pew. Since I’m five feet two inches, such a dress was not in the cards. But I did find a dress I liked okay and I got it for $75, so I was happy. I made my headpiece and bouquet from silk flowers and a yard or two of tulle, and told my bridesmaid to wear whatever she wanted. I was not Bridezilla. In fact, I didn’t care all that much about the wedding—I cared only for the groom. Is that weird? Yeah, maybe, but I watch all those brides on Say Yes to the Dress and wonder sometimes if they care more for the wedding than they do the marriage. I didn’t have Simple and demurethat bridal moment when I first tried on the dress—I didn’t really care what I wore so much. It was white, it was long and demure, and it was cheap. ‘Nuff said.

The proposal was unconventional, though not really a disaster.
Me: I’m ready to get married.
Him: What are you doing next Saturday?
Me: Why?
Him: We can get married.
Me: Okay.
Was there a bended knee? No, we were driving at the time. Was there a diamond? No. I said I didn’t need one and he said, “I’m so glad you feel that way.” Is it any wonder I rushed to say yes to this man? 😉

So maybe not caring about the dress wasn’t a disaster. Having my mother say that she and Dad couldn’t travel from Wisconsin to Virginia for a wedding nine days away was. I cried. Mom cried. Dad called and said they would be there. Whew!

There was no wedding rehearsal the night before the nuptials—the only people available were hubby, his parents and me. My parents and maid of honor arrived late that night.

It rained. And when I say rain, I mean downpours. Everyone was wet coming into the chapel and I was petrified about walking down a wet aisle. (I made it.)

I cried a lot moments before the service. I begged my dad not to make me get married. His words of advice? “We drove all the way here from Wisconsin and you’re going to get married.” Truthfully, I think he believed I was pregnant. After all, why else would I rush to name a wedding date? I was not, but I always wondered if that was why he took such a strong stance.

I had told the minister and hubby that I did not want to kiss him (hubby) in Simple ceremonyfront of everyone. But when all was said and done, I kissed everyone except hubby—my maid of honor, the minister, the best man. Hubby said I was about to head for the organist when he turned me and took my up the aisle.Wedding rings

There were only about 70 people attending, and the reception was at my new in-laws’ house. I neglected to mention in my hurried invites that there would be no dinner, only cake and some kind of punch. A few of my friends came from Richmond and Fredericksburg and they were hungry by the time the event ended. We were married out in the sticks, and there was nowhere to eat for fifty miles once they left. I felt bad about that, but by the time I found out, there was no solution except a few cheese sandwiches.

This is probably the biggest mishap: I didn’t remember anything about the wedding. Nothing. Hubby had a good laugh telling me all about it the next day.

All that said, for a hurried wedding, the marriage has been good for over forty years. We had dated for years, but dating and married are two very different things! Fortunately, I chose well—and I’d like to say he did too. (Well, hell, I will say he did to.) We still laugh, still love, still enjoy being with each other despite the rushed beginning. And that isn’t a disaster!

Read the next blog in the blog hop by going here.

Dee
Only a Good Man Will Do: Seriously ambitious man seeks woman to encourage his goals, support his (hopeful) position as Headmaster of Westover Academy, and be purer than Caesar’s wife. Good luck with that!

Naval Maneuvers: When a woman requires an earth-shattering crush of pleasure to carry her away, she can’t do better than to call on the US Navy. Sorry, Marines!

Most Memorable Experience #MFRWauthor

Over the years I’ve had the pleasure of lots of memorable experiences—a few memorable for being sad but many more for being happy and exciting. One of my most memorable was going away from home for that watershed moment of attending college.

While we had lived in Virginia Beach, Virginia from 3rd grade through my junior year of high school, the summer between my junior and senior year my dad was transferred to Florida. He was going to be on shore duty for a couple of years so I couldn’t begrudge him the great duty, but wondered (“Why, whyyyyyy, do I have to go, too?” “Because you’re my daughter and where your mother and I go, you go.” Okay, then.) what my life would be like, moving so far away to a place I’d never been, to a new school for my senior year among strangers. I found out soon enough.

Not only was I leaving behind my friends and school, but my boyfriend. Any guesses as to what I missed more? This was in the days before cell phones, internet, or email. Skype was something seen in sci-fi movies. Long distance calls were not cheap and so were infrequent. We were stuck with writing letters. As soon as I arrived in Orlando (long before Disneyworld!) I began exploring how I might find my way back to Virginia.

How I ever came across information for Mary Washington College I don’t remember. The pictures of campus were pretty, as were the photos of Fredericksburg—at that time, a lazy little town of 14,000 or so filled with antique shops and historic buildings. The school’s full name was Mary Washington College of the University of Virginia. UVAThe South was well-known for having girls’ schools and boys’ schools, and never the twain shall meet. During my day, UVA was all male except for certain disciplines in junior and senior years. (This changed during my junior year when the twains did meet and UVA became co-ed, at which time Mary Washington became simply Mary Washington College.) I didn’t know where Fredericksburg was in relation to where Jack might end up going to school, but at least I would be back in Virginia—if I was accepted. And, thankfully, I was.

I’d had polio as an infant, and except for being in the hospital or visiting my cousins for a couple of weeks, I’d never been away from home. But in the August after graduation, my parents put me on a train in Orlando and sent me, two suitcases, and a trunk up to Fredericksburg, a 24+ hour journey. So after having never traveled alone, I set out on a trip by myself to a part of Virginia I’d never been, to a school I’d never seen. What an experience!

Having led a pretty darn sheltered life, I was like a rube sent to the big city. I caught a cab at the train station in Fredericksburg and was charged double to go a few short blocks to my dorm (I discovered this when I took a cab back to the station at Christmas, when my fare was surprisingly cheap.). Fortunately, I was placed in a suite of rooms with three other very nice (patient) girls who knew their way around. They pointed me up the hill to campus and gave me good directions. For the next three and a half years, I reveled in the glory of the campus, the history of the area (from Revolutionary War to Civil War), the nearness of Washington, D.C. and Richmond, and being only a few hours from Jack—the boyfriend. That trip became my biggest, most memorable adventure to that time.

Antique shopMy trip north to sleepy Fredericksburg allowed me to meet people that have continued to touch my life, gave me my first taste of independence, and introduced me other adventures I’d have missed had I taken the easy route of staying in Florida for school. In many ways, it was life changing. And—as important—it was fun!

Read the next blog in the blog hop by going here.

Dee
Naval Maneuvers When a woman requires an earth-shattering crush of pleasure to carry her away, she can’t do better than to call on the US Navy. Sorry, Marines!